I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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