She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
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Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
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Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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