I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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