I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize