i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
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We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
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Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
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