Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize