I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize