I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
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just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
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He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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