I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
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No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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