I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i came on her dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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