i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize