I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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