bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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