ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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