Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize