the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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