Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize