Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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