They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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