$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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