So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize