Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
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WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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