i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
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You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
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I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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