ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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