im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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