It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize