I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
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Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
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The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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