Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize