I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize