don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
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im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
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I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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