so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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