she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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