Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
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And the cops told us we were all naked.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
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Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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