I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
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