Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
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