Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize