wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
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And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
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I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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