it's like iHOP with fire
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I need a beard to bite.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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