Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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