if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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