just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
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i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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