just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
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