I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize