i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize