I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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