He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize