I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Randomize