you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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