Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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