she looked like the before picture.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
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She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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